Eleventh Sunday after Pentecost
“Why did you doubt?” Jesus seems to chide Peter after he took the hard step of leaving the boat.
It’s a scary thing to face our doubts, and for many of us, walking on water feels like a bridge too far. Are we invited by God’s call only to be scolded for not going far enough?
After taking a brave step out on the water in response to Jesus’s call, Peter quickly finds himself overwhelmed by the dangers of wind and water, and he begins to flail in the choppy seas.
Why do we doubt?
As much as we might like to avoid risk and doubt, we know from life’s experiences that growth involves a lot of trial and error.
A small child learning to walk first must face the risk of falling. At less than a year old, we watch as children fall over and over again before taking their first steps.
As we grow older, we learn that some of these falls hurt. Learning to ride a bike involves more physical risk, and those falls leave scrapes and bruises. And it’s not just physical pain, sometimes we try something new, and the results don’t live up to our hopes, leaving us disappointed. Other times, the fallout can be harsh, including ridicule or mocking.
Over the years, we accumulate memories of failures and hurts that fuel our doubts. We try to be strong so we are not hurt again, or we avoid situations that may lead to new embarrassment. We start to weigh the pros and cons of all our decisions.
It’s human to doubt. This is part of our built-in survival instinct to protect ourselves physically and mentally.
The temptation is to wish we could travel through life without taking any risks - to never be vulnerable to life’s storms. Or maybe, we’d prefer to stay in the safety of the boat, letting the storms rage outside our haven.
This aversion to risk-taking can also extend to our faith. Sometimes we fear God’s call and have our doubts. At other times we might struggle with faith because life seems unfair when we are left suffering. We may grieve over the loss of a loved one and question God’s motives.
Unfortunately, many people are told that having any doubts is due to weak faith. In some communities and families, it is taboo to question or doubt the Scriptures or God’s works.
Theologian Paul Tillich wrote that doubt was not a weakness but a confirmation of faith. He proposed that the difference between faith and belief is the presence of concrete evidence. We can believe in gravity because we have evidence that dropping an object will cause it to fall to the ground. Indeed, those babies learning to walk are getting their first lessons in gravity.
So, we believe in something because we know it’s true, like gravity. But our faith is not supported by facts or science. However, our faith unifies all our life’s efforts, beliefs, and attitudes.
Everyone has some kind of faith, but many people put all their faith in family, country, or even sports. Unfortunately, being human constructs, these can fail us or change. So, ideally, our faith is directed at something that transcends what we know and draws us to what is beyond knowledge and laws.
When our faith is directed beyond what can know and measure, doubt is not a negation of faith, but is instead a defining element of healthy faith. “Doubt is a confirmation of faith,” Tillich wrote. It indicates that our faith is serious, and it confirms that our focus is not on finite things – it is focused beyond our measurable world.
Committing ourselves to a faith that requires doubt takes true courage. Because courage is not about being fearless. Courage requires a willingness to be uncomfortable and step out despite our fears. And faith in the divine requires embracing a power that is beyond our ordinary senses, immeasurable.
Whew, Tillich was a keen theologian, but truly unwinding his logic is a topic that way exceeds the capacity of a sermon. Instead of beginning a lengthy lecture, I invite you to instead absorb the words of this hymn written by theologian and hymnwriter David Bjorlin:
Ask the complicated questions,
do not fear to be found out;
for our God makes strong our weakness,
forging faith in fires of doubt.
Seek the disconcerting answers,
follow where the Spirit blows;
test competing truths of wisdom,
for in tension new life grows.
Knock on doors of new ideas,
test assumptions long grown stale
for Christ calls from shores of wonder,
daring us to try and fail.
For in struggle we discover
truth both simple and profound;
in the knocking, asking, seeking,
we are opened, answered found.
Perhaps Jesus is not chiding Peter for a lack of faith. Perhaps he is inviting Peter to explore his relationship with God.
We can look at this story two ways:
Some will focus on the fear and note that if Peter had stayed in the boat, he wouldn’t have risked drowning.
But on the flip side, if Peter had not ventured out, he would not have had the opportunity to be saved by Jesus.
Nuh uh. No way, you might be saying to yourself. I can’t take that step.
And yet you are sitting here in worship of God.
Doubt.....Faith
This is the tension between doubt and faith. This is the mystery of faith. It is in this uncomfortable place that we have an opportunity to deepen our faith by exploring our mysterious relationship with the Lord.
Maybe Jesus beckoned to him precisely so Peter could discover both his strengths and his weaknesses. Perhaps the point of the exercise was to discover that even in weakness, Jesus saves us.
Deitrich Bonhoeffer describes it this way: “Peter had to leave the ship and risk his life on the sea, in order to learn both his own weakness and the almighty power of his Lord. If Peter had not taken the risk, he would never have learned the meaning of faith.”
If we insist on always being strong, if we never ask for help, if we avoid risks, if we never fail, then we never truly experience the saving grace of God, because we are never dependent on God. When we wrestle with faith, when we explore our doubts, when we choose courage over comfort, then we fully let God in.
Why do we doubt?
So that we can be saved by God’s grace.
The Rev. Mercedes Clements
